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Joke of the Day

"*grandma sobbing at my graduation* ""Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up there."" *wipes tear* ""But they didn't want to come."""

"Not to freak everybody out but my new desk calendar ends in 2012"

"What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!"

"-I heard this dog was chipped. -Microchipped sir. -I don't care how small the chip is, I'm not paying full price."

"I got caught sniffing underwear... I got caught sniffing my friend's sister's underwear the other day, What made it worse was she was still wearing them, Made the rest of her funeral really awkward."

"50% of all trending topic tweets are people asking what the trending topic means."

"What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet? A liquor cabinet."

"What's the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table."

"What do you call a horse at night? A Nightmare"

"The inventor of the air conditioner has died. Thousands of fans attended his funeral."