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Joke of the Day

"The worst excuse I have ever came up with."

"I once unknowingly dated a transvestite ignoring all the clues Such as her name being Amanda."

"Guys, can we please stop making jokes about Donald Trump? Otherwise, we'll all have hell toupee."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"Why did the headless chicken cross the road? Cause he was supposed to be-headed to the other side"

"Why are paraplegics bad project teammates? They never carry their own weight."

"Always tweet as if your unfollowers are watching."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"I'm responsible for the deaths of 100's local singles in my area. They were dying to meet me & I did nothing. I did nothing!"

"God I hate hidden microphones They bug me so much!"