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Joke of the Day

"Read in a Forrest Gump voice. My mother always told me life is like a jar of jelly beans.Everbody hates the black ones. (I know this is a terrible joke, my friend told it to me."

"What were the last words of the explorer who discovered the Boa Constrictor? ""Can't...breathe..."""

"Have you worked at McDonalds? I have. I got fired not long ago. My boss was a clown."

"What did the cow say under its breath? Utter."

"I know exactly where I stand on the controversial issue of female on male rape. In the corner, with a video camera."

"I hate it when a guy pulls out a chair in front of me. I'm never sure if he's a gentleman or a chair thief."

"Idiot White Supremacist Why did the idiot white supremacist burn a cross on the wife-beater's lawn? He heard the abuser's wife had two black guys at once"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and one to tell her she did a really good job."

"Imagine how much more useful Superman would've been if he'd helped people move their heavy furniture instead."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew."