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Joke of the Day

"2 goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says ""YOU MAN THE GUNS, I'LL DRIVE!"" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm not deleting this)"

"I guess I didn't lobby hard enough to make extroduce the word of the year."

"The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you."

"So i was sitting on the toilet today... Nah it's a shit joke, nevermind"

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"Remember when we thought ""Any kid can grow up to be President"" was a good thing?"

"Jared Fogle gets sentenced 15 1/2 years in prison At least he'll still be able to enjoy footlongs"

"A good prank is to rent a Mercedes, stick a huge bow on it, and park it in front of your neighbor's house"