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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?"
Next Joke
"[Christmas] 6:30kids are excited 7:30kids are playing 8:00kids are fighting 9:00kids are crying 9:15wife is yelling 9:30I am drinking"
"Tampax needs to extend the string to 2ft so I can hang myself with it every month."
"We'd been married for 5yrs before we heard the patter of tiny feet. In time even the kids learned to live with the massive rat infestation"
"Fat joke You are so fat, your shadow died from a heart attack."
"My cat and I made a best friend pact tonight. If I die first, he won't eat my body. Or if he dies first, I won't use his skull as a cup."
"My friend and I saw a hobo sleeping in the park with a memory foam pillow... My friend turned to me and said, ""What a truly lucky man!"""
"I don't live in my mother's basement... I live in your mother's basement."
"My mom said her day at work today made her feel like punching babies I told her to punch herself in the stomach"
"I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey. Like the one where she gets a job right after college"