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Joke of the Day

"I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends."

"What's the difference in a refrigerator and a vagina? A refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out."

"wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink"

"2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet."

"Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent Is a driver's Ed instructor"

"I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison."

"Friend is going bungee jumping so I told him he was born because of a broken rubber and he could die the same way. He didn't laugh..."

"You can't be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER."

"Disappointed that there will be no Call of Cthulhu client for Linux I wanted to go insane installing *and* playing the game."

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall ""Dam"""