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Joke of the Day

"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"can a women make you a millionaire? yes,if you are a billionaire!"

"What did Sushie A say to Sushi B? Wasa-B! Let's roll."

"""Hello, 912"" wait did u say 912? ""yup"" I meant to dial 911 ""happens all the time"" lol I'm such a goof ""haha right?"" my neighbor got stabbed"

"you know who else had a ""fun hat phase""? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They'll just arrest the light for being broke and beat the room for being black."

"What kind of injury results from having an omega-3 bottle thrown at your head? A super-fish-oil wound"

"I had to roll the passenger window up by hand in my friend's antique 320i like a goddamned Neanderthal, so I totally understand poverty."

"What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him."

"So you like limericks, huh? On the Breast of a woman named Gale was tattooed the price of her tail and on her behind for the sake of the blind was the same information in braile."