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Joke of the Day

"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Held the door open for a japenese women today she said ""sank you"" I replied ""we blew you up"" She hit me with her walking stick... Apparently she meant thank you Edit: grammar mistake"

"What's the difference between a canoe and a jew? Canoes tip"

"Who ever taught Storm Troopers how to shoot also must have taught white golfers how to high five each other."

"A Muslim Woman wanted to fuck a gorilla. Her husband objected and said... ""That's Haram, bae."""

"I'm always surprised how quickly ""you're so funny"" turns into ""everything is a fcuking joke to you."" (usually about 3 months)"

"What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown? Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet"

"Police were called to a daycare yesterday... Police were called to a daycare yesterday because a 5 year old was resisting a rest."

"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"I exercise religiously. I was on the treadmill earlier praying that it would stop."