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Joke of the Day
"origami is a great idea on paper, but in reality folding a swan will kill it."
Next Joke
"I've never once used the ""C word"" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts."
"How can you tell if a gay person is dead? Check pulse"
"The men who fought in the Revolutionary War were very brave. They would take turns standing there shooting at each other... ...and that takes balls."
"[park bench with girlfriend] so you're dumping me because you don't think I'm smart? ""yes brent"" *starts raining* great and now sky water"
"Rather than buy a gun, I've been studying ""Home Alone"" and now defend my home with marbles and old gangster movies."
"A man wanted to name his son a very long name... ...so he named him Miles"
"Whats the difference between an environmentalist and a dog sitting in the rain? eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging."
"I love balloons! I keep tying them to my arm, but I think I'm getting carried away."
"My wife treats me like a God Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering."