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Joke of the Day

"The men who fought in the Revolutionary War were very brave. They would take turns standing there shooting at each other... ...and that takes balls."

"I hate it when I go to the supermarket and the employees there comment on my groceries. Always with the ""Hey, sir, you have to pay for those!"" Every damn time."

"Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community? Because he was transitioning."

"I saw the most unnecessary roundabout the other day... ...it was literally pointless"

"It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination."

"My wife just bought toilet paper from Costco which is great because later today we're having 3,000 people over to take a shit."

"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."

"What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA? The former has a cunning array of stunts"

"What's brown and sticky? a stick."

"What's the worst thing about losing your hand You're also losing your girlfriend"