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Joke of the Day

"I've never once used the ""C word"" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts."

"Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child? Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number."

"What's funny about majorities? Most things."

"How cute does one have to be to make sparks fly? Electro cute"

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped."

"How does any girl have less than 90 thousand Instagram followers?"

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Yeah, neither have they."

"Nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3:00am."

"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."

"In Russia, if you're blue, and you don't where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits: Putin on the Ritz"