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Joke of the Day

"What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight"

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure? Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not. Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!"

"For all you World of Tanks players: what does LTP stand for? LeichtTractor Premium"

"What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become? A hardened criminal."

"Today TO DO list: 1) vacuum huge spider in living room 2) panic 3)throw vacuum cleaner outside 4)buy new spiderless vacuum"

"Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids? Doctors decided to make some for him out of his foreskin. They say that the boy is doing fine now, but he's a little cock-eyed."

"Clergy A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest asks, ""Want to screw some alter boys?"" And the rabbi responds, ""out of what?"""

"how are women like a quantum computer? they are both turned on and off by you at the same time."

"What's Trump's favorite place to shop? *Wall-Mart* ^^pls ^^no ^^kill ^^I ^^came ^^up ^^with ^^this ^^at ^^2 ^^in ^^the ^^morning"