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Joke of the Day
"What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight"
Next Joke
"When is the best time to hold a funeral? In the mourning. FYI, my 11yo says he made this up today, right after learning of death in the extended family."
"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."
"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."
"Can you name a grateful astronomer? How about Neil Degracias Tyson?"
"When you need Advice everyone is ready to help.....But when you need Help everyone only gives advice...!!!!"
"Sure, he's got his faults, like -- he's a necromancer, and a hoarder... ... but doesn't everybody have a few skeletons in their closet?"
"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."
"What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow? Abandonment."
"What did the police say to the hot dog? You are under arrest."