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Joke of the Day

"Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked."

"What is ISIS's favorite smartphone? Samsung Note 7 , according to them it's ""the bomb"" nowadays."

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"My password is ""weak?"" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad."

"Dinner guests coming over later and I got nothing. Does anyone know how to turn beef jerky back into steaks?"

"People are always mistaken thinking there is only 1 letter in the pirate dictionary, in actual fact there is 10 Eye eye, argh and the 7 seas"

"It says right on the redbull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last."

"Donations Person: ""Please donate to the local swimming pool"" Me: *Gives a glass of water*"

"Why don't I take my guinea pigs on walksies It's hard on my cavies"

"If you post BDSM jokes on /r/jokes.... Does it count as a submission?"