167449

Joke of the Day

"Sure, he's got his faults, like -- he's a necromancer, and a hoarder... ... but doesn't everybody have a few skeletons in their closet?"

"If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it might be a grebe. Know your waterfowl."

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."

"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""

"Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce."

"Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney."

"I bought a race horse and decided to call it ""MY FACE"". Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting ""COME ON MY FACE""!!"

"White guy is very frightened when he saw a black guy Black Guy: Hey man, why are yo scared, because ima black huh?, you racist scum White Guy: What are you doing in my house?"

"I never touch baby carrots because I'm afraid the mother will reject them."