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Joke of the Day

"What did one stereo say to the other... What did one stereo say to the other when he got called down to the office for having no bass? ""Oooooh you're in treble"""

"My dog eats too much food and throws it up. EVERYDAY. I swear to God if she keeps this up, she's going to look amazing."

"What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because its two tired."

"A good way to make friends is to crawl under the bathroom stall quickly before they can get away"

"1 out of 5 dentists is illiterate, and could not complete the survey."

"Did you hear about the 2 Dish antennas that fell in love and got married? The service was terrible but the reception was OK when it wasn't raining."

"An old Russian wisdom: Tell me who your friends are, And I'll tell you what you'll be charged with."

"Don't you just hate the blatant materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren't you just dying to know what you got?"

"""Yeah I just really enjoy playing devil's avocado sometimes"" Teacher: devil's advocate? Me [grabbing trident and avocado costume]: no."