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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back."

"Please be patient...I'm fcuking things up as fast as I can."

"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? John got dirty. Wanna hear a clean joke? John took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a naughty joke? Bubbles was the girl next door."

"Q: Where do pigs park their cars? A: In porking lots."

"I'm sorry I threw up all over your carpet when you referred to your spouse as your ""lover""."

"Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls."

"*calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*"

"How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a light bulb? You weren't there, man!"

"*looks up from phone* Great, I'm inside of a coffin again."