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Joke of the Day
"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."
Next Joke
"How do you explain this gap in your resume? ""I was in jail."" Okay. Sure you weren't working for Trump's campaign? ""Swear to God. Jail."""
"I went to go high five a shirt in my closet... ...but I left it hanging."
"Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse."
"The Proclaimers walked 500 miles without a Fitbit?"
"How many clergymen does it take to screw a lightbulb? Amen."
"If woman had apostrophes instead of periods, they'd be even more possessive and prone to contractions."
"How will Trump fund the wall? He'll get the money from *wall* street"
"My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we're playing the lottery 3-5 times per week."
"My Asian girlfriend says that a small dick is no problem, although I'd prefer if she didn't had one."