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Joke of the Day

"""Guess What?"" ""What?"" ""Good Guess"""

"A man goes to the doctor and says; Patient: wow, this has to be the smallest doctor's office in the world. Doctor: Get the f*** out of here! I'm taking a shit!"

"What's a calender's favorite fruit? Dates."

"God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this"

"Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single."

"What do you call a half-length lightsabre? A slightsabre"

"I like how supermarkets don't give a shit if an avocado is anywhere near ripe. They're like ""here, buy this, it may eventually become food"""

"Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a ""thirsty boy"""

"Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?"

"What do terrorists say to their sister? H'Isis"