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Joke of the Day
"Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're dead."
Next Joke
"They said I'd miss my family I never miss at close range."
"Why does Santa have no children? Because he only comes once a year. Bonus! Why did Santa's wife divorce him? She wasn't the only one receiving his ""package""."
"Who Wears The Old Clothes Of Angela Merkel? Angela Merkel."
"Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones."
"Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman? She committed soya-cide."
"What do you call it when someone hacks your bank account, and performs a transaction that leaves you with exactly as much money as you had before? Identity theft! A math joke. Credit goes to Ben."
"Everybody is a little weird, except you and I... ...and I'm not so sure about you."
"Most drug-sniffing dogs refuse to admit they have a problem"
"Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!"