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Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa have no children? Because he only comes once a year. Bonus! Why did Santa's wife divorce him? She wasn't the only one receiving his ""package""."

"I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones."

"I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth."

"A man walks into a bar His alcoholism is tearing his family apart"

"One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we're 85% less scared of him."

"It's illegal to tie your children to things but you can basically do the same by buying them a phone with a short charger and a bad battery."

"I asked for soundproof walls my mom also got me a straight jacket"

"""You'll be visited by 3 ghosts."" ""Will they show me the true spirit of Christmas?"" ""No, they'll try to eat you."" Pac-Man Christmas Carol"

"Teacher to russian student: Boris, beware, I have eyes in my back! russian student: What Are you braging about? I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!"

"Girl are you a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls because I want to bang you on the counter"