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Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa have no children? Because he only comes once a year. Bonus! Why did Santa's wife divorce him? She wasn't the only one receiving his ""package""."

"On phone: GF: We're breaking up... Me: I can hear you fine! GF: It's not you, it's me... Me: Did you get a new provider? GF: Kinda... Bye!"

"Did you hear that protons have mass? Na"

"""My computer just crashed"" is going to be a much more serious statement when self-driving cars are the norm"

"What do you call a lady with one leg that is shorter than the other? Aileen"

"Just donated a kidney. Hope somebody checks that Goodwill box."

"What's better than going to Westford Academy? Going to Westford high"

"Why did the stoner take his wife to court? He wanted to get joint custody."

"Statistically, you're more likely to be killed, raped or robbed by a black person than other races. This isn't really funny, it's a PSA."

"I thought it was called a Fist Bump Why not call it a Finger Bang?"