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Joke of the Day

"Everybody is a little weird, except you and I... ...and I'm not so sure about you."

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"Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day... Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Joke It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."
"[5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: ""everything's a competition to you"" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] ""no it's not"""
"If we repeal the 14th amendment, does that means there's room for another 2nd amendment? Same as the old one, but this time in all caps."
"What do American Beer and sex in a canoe have in common? They're both f*cking close to water. [Joke courtesy of Zane Lamprey on an episode of Three Sheets]"
"best Attitude to follow in Life Imagine that you are already dead. This way, whatever u get in life is always a profit for u."
"What was the poltergeist arrested for at the campground? Possession within tent"
"Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? It was a bit bazaar."
"Where do detectives go to have a drink? The Search Bar."