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Joke of the Day

"Where do psychopaths shop? In sainsburys *i understand that if your not from the UK this joke probably won't make sense, or it's just not funny*"

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"when i got asked to do the thanksgiving prayer Thanks Obama!"
"It smells like up-dog in here."
"I hugged someone once and they expected it every time they saw me. I'll never do that again."
"My girlfriend asked me to 'eat the booty like groceries' But I'm on a glute-free diet"
"How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb? They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation."
"What do you call vampires vagina? Cunt Dracula"
"A neutron walks into a bar. If you dont know how the rest goes im sorry you dont deserve to be on the internet."
"My mate threw a beer bottle at my head It didn't break the skin but it left a nasty Brews"
"how much does it take for two octopi to laugh? 16 tickles because not asking for insurance is insane in the US, sorry to go out on a limb..."