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Joke of the Day

"The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't."

Next Joke
 
"The Wikipedia's list of rape victims is incomplete... But don't worry! You can help by expanding it!"
"I always say ""morning"" instead of ""good morning"". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people."
"Angel: God.. Were you drunk creating last night? God: no..... Angel: *holds up platypus God: a little.."
"If Lance Armstrong can't keep his awards he should just take his ball and go home."
"Little league Played baseball with some orphaned kids today. :) I won. None of them seemed to know where home was."
"My girlfriend and I had a fight and she asked me for distance and time, But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity"
"What phone etiquette?! You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice."
"Dating is like playing musical chairs. Somewhere between 25&30 the music stopped& everyone grabbed a husband. I must've been in the bathroom"
"Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."