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Joke of the Day
"If you get butterflies in your stomach You should probably stop eating insects"
Next Joke
"At first, I hated my new haircut but it's grown on me."
"What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo ? Ones a little lighter"
"A man walked into an appliance store and asked the clerk, ""Do you sell color televisions?"" ""Yes,"" said the clerk. The man replied, ""Then give me a green one."""
"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realize where we're going."
"When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'"
"We named our beautiful daughter after my mother. Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 22 this year!"
"That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation."
"Story of Dave There was one a man named Dave. Who kept a dead whore in a cave. He said, 'ah, what the hell, I'll get used to the smell'. 'And think of the money I'll save'."
"Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it? Jim: Hmm [Two weeks later] Jim: Meet my new wife! *holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*"