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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo ? Ones a little lighter"

"I used to be an Uncle like you... ...Until I took an arrow to the niece."

"""I'm not good at goodbyes."" I am. See ya."

"I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man."

"TIL that if you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end... You would die."

"This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem."

"You know what would really suck? Finding a needle in a haystack."

"They say blondes have the most fun They also say ignorance is bliss."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"Most guys walk up and stick it in... I stick it in then walk up..."