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Joke of the Day

"That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation."

"I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is ""don't worry son everyone's doing that."""

"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."

"What is more powerful than God, more evil than the Devil, poor people have it, if you eat it, you will die? Diarrhoea"

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid good money to have a lentil on my chest"

"Why did the Police hurry over to the Black Lives Matter Riot? To beat the crowd!"

"If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious."

"What do you say when someone makes a racially insensitive comment? That's insensitive, you retard."

"Fcuk you Adobe! I spend more time downloading Adobe updates than i've ever spent using Adobe."

"If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos"