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Joke of the Day

"You always hear people saying suicide isn't the answer... But how do they know it's not the answer if they haven't tried it? I haven't heard one person complain after suicide."

"*pulls out earbud* What? ""We need to talk."" *pulls out earbud* ""You've been spending too much time at Chernobyl."" *pulls out earbud* No way"

"Christmas song for people with synesthesia: do you see what I heeeaarrr"

"What did the saxophone teacher say to his student? You have learned well young brasshopper."

"Woman Goes Doctor Latvia Woman go to see doctor. Doctor shake head and say, ""Six more days life then die."" Woman is feel sad. Woman asks, ""Is no thing I can take?"" Doctor say, ""Food."""

"What side of the chicken has the most feathers? The Outside!"

"BLIND DINOSAUR Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us."

"An artilleryman says what? What? Right. What? What. He says what. What?"

"What do a dead vibrator and a moving bus have in common? You can't get off."

"do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they're viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?"