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Joke of the Day

"Woman Goes Doctor Latvia Woman go to see doctor. Doctor shake head and say, ""Six more days life then die."" Woman is feel sad. Woman asks, ""Is no thing I can take?"" Doctor say, ""Food."""

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"

"Your face is the human equivalent of a blue screen Just came up with it, think its alright. Thoughts?"

"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"

"What key won't let you through any doors? A turkey."

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"You know why it's so difficult to put together a baseball team of egotists? Everyone wants to play first."

"Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party? Because it was more Loki than he wanted."

"The secret to my amazing vegan burgers is real beef."

"I'm gonna try and shoot the whole school Said the yearbook photographer"