98479

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lonely cow? Beef Jerky"

"HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!"

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond Bond, James Bond."

"Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep? Because he was on the lam."

"What do you tell a cow that's in the way? Mooooooooooooove."

"If I take a bite of your food at a restaurant and your food is better than my food, just be aware that our relationship is now in danger"

"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"

"I suppose you can take my cold dead hand when you pry it from my warm live one and charge me w/unlawful possession of human remains"

"What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood"

"A redneck girl is sucking off her black power boyfriend. What's her favorite song? I'm Going Through the Big D and Don't Mean Dallas"