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Joke of the Day

"I need to workout ASAP I gotta start working out or something man. Was struggling to get all the juice squeezed out of a lemon. Not cool"

"If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved."

"If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm"

"You Suck Originally I had hope and dreams of becoming somebody but thanks to you and the society we live in it's never going to happen"

"Why does Game of Thrones always kill off its main characters? For the good of the watch."

"Are you today's date? Cause you're 10/10."

"How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out."

"I told my wife last night that I need to get ""Bed Insurance"" That way I could some 'basic coverage.'"

"I've never been good with 'pick-up' lines I once said to this girl, ""Hey, you get fries with that shake?"" It turns out she had Parkinson's."

"Wearing a seashell necklace is a great way to let everyone know how cool you were in 1996."