43091

Joke of the Day

"Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose."

"I wish the NSA would stop listening to my Facebook rants about the NSA listening to my Facebook rants about the NSA"

"So, there was an earthquake in Georgia. Guess your mom had a good Valentine's Day."

"I just join reddit and suddenly discover that my name is is on the front page! ^so ^upvotes. much karma. ^^^wow."

"[art store] You do free framing? ""With any purchase"" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do"

"I love spending my Sundays sat watching the F1. My girlfriend thinks I'm going fucking mental though, just sitting there staring at the top left of my keyboard for severalhours at a time."

"I read a book called 'The Anti-Climax' The first part of it was great, but...."

"Why do ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies."

"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"

"First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks ""is that your puppy?"" say ""No. That's my dad."" Then storm off."