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Joke of the Day

"First date tip: let a photo of a dog fall out of your wallet. When she asks ""is that your puppy?"" say ""No. That's my dad."" Then storm off."

"The longest Joke in the world... Is very long."

"Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged."

"Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!"

"How do we know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? If it had been invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush."

"Why wasn't Sarah Jessica Parker cast in ""Seabiscuit""? I don't think she auditioned for the movie, or was even considered for it. And she was busy with ""Sex and the City"" anyway."

"What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandles? Philippe Philoppe"

"What face does a Syrian make when he has a bad day? Assad one. On a side note, I hope prosperity upon all the Syrians who have been displaced."

"I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth."

"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""