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Joke of the Day

"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""

"As I was driving home I saw a black man carrying a TV down the street... Nervously, I had to wonder if it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes"

"I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good."

"Q: What is your least favorite force of nature? A: Gravity. It's always bringing me down."

"Two shoes met and.. They had a converse-ation."

"""My balls have amazing cleavage in the right lighting"" is a failed pickup line that has never worked."

"Many of my tumblr friends identify as otherkin. Be it wolfkin, eaglekin or yes even fantasykin. I myself identify as a jedi. So I'm forcekin."

"Q: What's red and not there? A: No Tomatoes."

"I wonder if people in 3rd world countries know that we can choose between crushed and regular ice cubes."

"Why is C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet? Because they are not Cs."