179046

Joke of the Day

"Why is C afraid of every other letter in the alphabet? Because they are not Cs."

"Having your 7 year old son clean the toilet is pretty entertaining. He used Pledge. In other news I just slid off the toilet, into the tub."

"If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding."

"So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it."

"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A. ""Thanks for the refill!"""

"A new thought from Anton Belvedere Q: What did I say to Queen Amidala on Mardis Gras? A: Show me your Naboobs!"

"You know, I always really liked Meatloaf I've never had any beef with him"

"A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken. (Edit: Typo)"