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Joke of the Day

"(JOKE) What does a light bulb filled with gas?"

"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"

"What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery? Honey, why the wrong face?"

"This just happened and it could be a joke... No. Really. I was swinging my fork around and got dumplings in my eyes. It wasn't that bad."

"Why is Chapstick so popular? Cause it's the balm baby!"

"When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me."

"I have a love/hate relationship with going to extremes."

"When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights."

"What does a nosey pepper do? He's Jalapeno business"

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"