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Joke of the Day

"All Aboard! by Abel Seamann"

"mrw browsing front page [removed due to copyright]"

"A guy gets pulled over by a cop. Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot; have you been drinking? Guy: Your eyes are glazed; have you been eating donuts?"

"While other countries are doubling down on education, we're using chicken breasts as sandwich bread."

"The baby fell on the floor at breakfast this morning. Luckily, she landed butter side up, so the five second rule still applied."

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"*gives ex wife's next door neighbour a drum kit for Christmas*"

"[FBI job interview] ""Do you have any self defense training?"" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing."

"Trump is a godsend As in 1000 B.C. plague"

"I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them"