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Joke of the Day

"Hey Verizon, here's an idea ~ $9.99 for unlimited calls, text, and data. But, $179.99 a minute to call ex-girlfriends."

"What I hate most about this sub: -When people include the title in the first line."

"... My life up till now! Hayyooooo!! :/"

"I just saw a woman push 5 little kids in a shopping cart out of Walmart. I didn't realize that you could get them in bulk now."

"I HATE when people rub things in my face. Unless it's boobs."

"Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa"

"TIFU by being a dyslexic bus driver Whoops, wrong bus"

"What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans? vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim."

"I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"What do you call a gay vegetarian? A vegetarian."