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Joke of the Day

"What I hate most about this sub: -When people include the title in the first line."

"What do Romans say when their wives run away? Caesar!"

"My oldest son come up to me today and said, I'm feeling suicidal, dad.' Hang in there, son' I said pointing at the spare room."

"My grandma started dying in the living room Well, I guess it isn't the living room anymore."

"Why does Karl Marx like stormy days? There are no classes."

"I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries"

"I'm busier than... a Catholic priest at a church lock in."

"While building a house in Kansas, Chuck Norris was dared to dig a hole as deep as he could. Chuck Norris dug so deep that the next day there were Squirrels with slanted eyes on his front lawn."

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"Don't listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They're just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn't anxious."