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Joke of the Day

"What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans? vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim."

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"What is Bill Clinton's favorite instrument? The Whore-Monica"
"I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs."
"I experienced a bad date September 11, 2001"
"If someone hits you with a coffee mug, have you technically been mugged?"
"I Beat my wife like I Beat my Dick. All the time."
"I just went to see the local police chief give a talk on heroin. I couldn't understand a word he said"
"Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run? (Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos) Me: I have shin splints"
"How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life? Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry."
"Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid."