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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by being a dyslexic bus driver Whoops, wrong bus"

"The Fine Bros. 'React' announcement was like a television with no antenna. Poor reception."

"Someone told me to make a philosphy joke. My response: I Kant."

"I'm really claustrophobic and just walked into a room crammed full with married people... Luckily there wasn't a single person in it"

"Me: ""Your mum sucks."" GF: ""That's not very nice."" Me: ""No, it's wonderful."""

"What did the egg say to the boiler water? It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night."

"What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? Mostly the taste."

"""There's no use crying over spilt milk."" Unless you spill it on a winning Powerball ticket, then you should probably cry."

"What activity is easier as it gets harder? Pissing on the ceiling"

"I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that."