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Joke of the Day

"Radio from an American boat: Mayday, mayday. We are sinking! Radio back from a German rescue ship: What are you sinking about?"

"Two condoms are walking down the street when they pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and asks, ""Hey man, wanna go get shit faced?"""

"What do composers prepare their ingredients on? A Chopin board"

"My dad put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like, ""You're five years old? When I was your age, I was six"""

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."

"How did the crazy man get across the forrest? He took the psycho path. ( )"

"I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!"

"The council have started asking people what they think of their plans to build a wind turbine off the local coastline. I'm not a big fan."

"What if Steven hawking is the real slim shady We'll never know because he can't stand up"

"A mexican magician tell his audience he will disappear on the count of 3 ""Uno, Dos..."" *poof* He disappeared without a tres"