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Joke of the Day

"I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!"

Next Joke
 
"Jesus Christ, i can't believe you people are actually making jokes about using chloroform to rape someone. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just choke her."
"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"
"Why even ask how my weekend was if you're just going to interrupt me halfway through to say, ""Yeah, I saw your Facebook post."""
"The only times I go for a jog is when there's a cute guy in front of me or a creepy guy behind me."
"I should have been a psychic I hear they make a fortune."
"Dang girl, I want to treat you like my big toe... ...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house. (sorry if its been submitted before)"
"Q: What's the difference between a moose and an ant? A: A moose has antlers, but an ant doesn't have mooselers."
"What does Elvis say when he gets an infection that standard antibiotics can't treat? MRSA!"
"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang"