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Joke of the Day
"What do composers prepare their ingredients on? A Chopin board"
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"""Can't touch this."" ""Can't touch this."" ""Can't touch this."" --MC Hammer giving a Museum tour"
"You know how you'll see something a million times, but can't find it when you need it? That's why I stopped buying condoms."
"Q. What creature has the best aptitude for engineering ? A. The spider -- It has its own website."
"How can you tell your roommate is of the gay? His dick tastes like shit"
"My family tree is a cactus, we're all pricks."
"I like my women like I like my Little Caesar's pizza- Hot & Ready."
"*knocks on donation door Me: I have a donation Salvation Army: Ma'am, once again... you cannot donate your man Me: You have stupid rules!"
"iPhone 6 for $900 or a ski mask for $1.99.. Your choice"
"I hate being bi-polar.It's awesome."