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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of a somersault? A winter pepper."

"Bread lovers of Reddit, how do you tell your ""Sandwich Artist"" that they got your order wrong? Oops, wrong sub"

"I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices."

"Whats the difference between a White lie and a Black lie? Half to none of the time."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, unless they're small enough to fit a third in there."

"You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!"

"Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity."

"The invention of dildos Had a much deeper impact than previously anticipated."

"I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it's wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it."

"Swallow it dammit, it's good for you Your Pride"