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Joke of the Day

"I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices."

"Why did the Chihuahua put on a jacket? Because it was a chili dog!"

"The best time to eat candy Is when she doesn't have her period."

"The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house."

"How does a redneck mom know her daughter is on the rag? Her son's dick tastes funny."

"I had such a crap day. First my ex got run over by a bus. Then I got fired from my job as a bus driver. Ugh."

"""I need a boyfriend"" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty."

"I don't always use complete sentences But when I do"

"What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down? The owner calls Triple Eh."

"A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, ""no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"""