42545

Joke of the Day

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"what do you call a bus full of white people a twinkie"

"What do you feed an invisible cat? Evaporated milk."

"What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors? He has a reptile dysfunction."

"*Goes into fabric store looking for girlfriend material*"

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"Rodney Dangerfield joke I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!"

"Why are goldfish crackers always smiling? Because they're baked.."

"My mom asked if my kids are driving me to drink with the snow days. Told her I've been drinking at home, stupid kids can't reach the pedals."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who became a monk? One evening he was solving a trigonometric equation and then he saw a sine."