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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He thought he was following someone."
Next Joke
"[at a funeral] What happens to his leftover meds?"
"BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon"
"Why does the spanish dude keep walking left? Because izquierda going right."
"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."
"Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?"
"TIFU by sending nudes to everyone in my address book. Costed me a fortune in stamps."
"If you're home alone and hear a fart do you laugh or get scared"
"ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it"
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb should be willing to change."