42312
Joke of the Day
"Girlfriend: ""What's senior year without a little slacking?"" Me: ""Junior year."""
Next Joke
"If I ever need to ask for directions, I will find an Asian person, because who better to help me get Oriented?"
"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."
"I renamed my night club Viagra... It's been 4 hours and people are still cuming!"
"American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown, this is a historic moment... It's been 37 years since someone owned horse semen this valuable."
"I miss dating The excitement of meeting someone new, that feeling of butterflies when you see if you can climb out their bathroom window..."
"What did the elevator say to the escalator? Do you even lift?"
"They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit."
"What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide and seek champion."
"TIFU by picking up a dead bee. It wasn't. Now my thumb hurts."