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Joke of the Day
"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."
Next Joke
"those damn vegans still drinking water?!?! That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!"
"Today is Stevie Nicks' birthday. She is 67 years old. I wonder what that is in goat years?"
"My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip. I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one."
"I said to the porn producer I couldn't take any more dick... So I got the sack."
"My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate Everyone got a piece"
"Sorry I took the little stringy things off my banana and put them on your baby's head to make it look like he had hair."
"Black Whopper at BK You hear BK is now selling a black whopper? They are already cancelling it because it will never work and everyone wants it for free ...... lmao"
"Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!"
"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"