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Joke of the Day

"We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

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"My favorite religion is that one that doesn't try to force their beliefs on you. What's that one called again?"
"Why does Star Wars have 100s of people using lasers to fight and literally NOBODY using them to etch cute wooden drink coasters"
"What's the difference between me and a pigeon? A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW"
"Why aren't there any black magicians? Because magic is stupid."
"WIFE: I thought you said you were going to the gym. ME: [playing Pokemon Go] I've been to like 3 of them today. What are you talking about?"
"I kept wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me."
"Wow, bro you're genius. Yoo bro... I've cheated a taxi How ? I've paid him and i didnt sit in. I ran away"
"I was gonna post a joke about me being a shitty seller on eBay But my delivery has horrible timing."
"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur. -George.W.Bush"