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Joke of the Day

"Guys what shall we call thing that impedes movement? GUY NAMED BARRY: ""How about a barry?"" GUY NAMED BARRY BARRY: ""How about a barrier?"""

"What's a cops favorite TV show? Justified"

"He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"My Dad just told me I looked like Jesus. I think he has a God complex."

"your dad wrote a letter to harambe his pen is out for harambe"

"I think my dog is an alcoholic. He can't hold his licker."

"I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life... Unless, of course, I want to buy something."

"Horrible Crash ""Two pedestrians die in a horrible crash!"" Wow, they must've been walking pretty fucking fast."

"Hey, everybody under 25 just shut up for like FIVE minutes."